STORIES
I am alwqys at a loss at how much to believe of n:ry own stories.
WASHINGTON IRVING
Next to silence, stories are the most divine form of communication.
Stories are alive. Stories are holy. Stories are gods that create
universes and the creatures and characters that populate them.
Stories bring to life all the triumphs and tragedies imagination and
experience can summon to the mind. Stories speak directly to our
souls.
Stories are magick.
As I begin the seventh decade of my life, I find myself more
inclined to listen to a story than to study a text or reflect on an
argument-more inclined to tell a story than to presume to teach
a lesson or offer advice. Perhaps it is because as we grow older we
have more stories to tell, and experience and wisdom conspire to
add dimension, texture, and perspective to the lengthening register
of our memories.

For whatever reason, I find myself at this season of my life unable
to approach the subject of this book from any direction other than
relating my personal experiences. This is not to say that I haven't integrated
a great deal of theory and technical information within my
nonchronological narratives. Indeed, I believe there is more than
enough magical "how-to-ness" nestled within these pages to keep
a motivated magician busy for some time. But it is the story that
informs-the story that teaches-the story that reveals the magical
"how-why-ness" (and in some instances, the "how-why not-ness")
of the magician's life.
However, storytelling has certain disadvantages-foremost being
the fact that memory is a fragile and subjective thing. Pain,
regret, embarrassment, shame, wishful thinking, fantasy, and oldfashioned
self-delusion constantly threaten the accuracy of our
recollections of the past. Absolute objectivity is impossible. But
unlike other mortals who lead less examined lives, the magician is
obliged to keep a diary, and may refer to specific events recorded
in his or her magical journals. I've relied heavily on my scribblings
in the preparation of this book-a painfully embarrassing ordeal,
I assure you.
Also, in the course of telling a magical story, one must consider
the sensitivities and the privacy of other individuals, living or dead,
who may be part of the action. Over the years I have been blessed
to meet and work with some very wonderful and colorful characters,
most of whom would not be recognizable personalities in our
magical subculture, but a few of them I dare say might. So, I confess
here and now that in certain places in this book I've changed
names or made other literary adjustments to allow certain individuals
to remain blissfully incognito.

I, of course, hope that you will enjoy this small collection of
my memories, but I know that I can't possibly satisfY the taste and
expectation of every reader. Perhaps this book will not be what you
expected. Perhaps you will be disappointed that I haven't written
yet another textbook or a more scholarly elucidation upon some
great magical system or philosophical doctrine. If so, I hope you
overlook my lack of apology, because I believe with this little book
I am offering you something that can be far more powerful and
enlightening-a gift of stories. I hope you accept them for what
they are, and find your particular truth within them. For as the
Zuni sages tell us, "There is no truth, only stories."

FIRST LET'S TALK ABOUT FEAR
Speak of the Devil and he appears.
ITALIAN PROVERB
For a magician, it is better to be possessed) the demon than ignored) him.
RABBI LAMED BEN CLIFFORD
It is a sad fact (at least from my perspective) that not everyone who
picks up this book and thumbs through it will end up buying it.
It is also true that not everyone who buys it and takes it home will
read it from cover to cover. So, just in case these opening remarks
are the only words you will ever read from this book, I'm going to
immediately exploit this fleeting moment we have together and
impart to you in large uppercase letters the most important secret
of magick-and of life:

DO NOT BE AFRAID！

Now! If you're short on time, please feel free to close the book
and fearlessly get on with your life.
Do not get me wrong. It's good to be cautious. It's good to be
wise. It's good to be measured and thoughtful in all your actions
and behavior, but fear is poison to your magical practice and poison
to your life. Please know that I am not preaching this gospel of
fearlessness from the marble pulpit of righteousness and courage.
On the contrary, I'm shouting it from the pasteboard megaphone
of my own ignoble and cowardly character.
When I began my life as a practicing magician, it seemed like I
was afraid of everything. When I rehearsed my first Pentagram and
Hexagram rituals, I superstitiously monitored everything from my
heartbeat to my horniness. I fantasized seeing things out of the
corner of my eye, and recorded the most outlandish speculations
in my diary.
I realize now that most of my fears of things that go bump in the
night arose from the deepest stratum of my childhood religious programming.
In less evasive words, I was still consciously and unconsciously
brainwashed by my Christian upbringing-still trapped in
a hostile universe that reverberated with the thundering curses of a
wrathful God who frightens little children into acceptable behavior
(so that they grow into obedient God-fearing adult little children).
I was programmed by films and literature based upon that
unwholesome doctrine of fear and self-loathing. Today, as I review
my old diaries, it all seems pretty silly and melodramatic:
Performed Greater Invoking Pentagram Ritual of Fire for the first
time. Later in the day broke a shoelace and had acid reflux.

or,

Slept with Mars talisman under my pillow-dreamed my fathers
corpse was eaten by seahorses-woke up with an erection.

I thank the gods that I had in those early years a knowledgeable,
experienced, and competent magical mentor1 who (when
not projecting her own fears of low magick upon me)2 mercilessly
ridiculed my childish fears and helped me develop an attitude akin
to that of a motivated research scientist who is driven by intense
curiosity and a sense of scientific wonder. Remember Laura Dern's
character in the film jurassic Park, rolling up her sleeves and plunging
her arm into a huge pile of dinosaur poop for a clue to the
poor animal's tummy ache? Well, sometimes a magician is faced
with even more disturbing psychological and spirit-world challenges,
and the key to meeting those challenges is that same detached
attitude of fearlessness, determination, and an unshakeable
passion for enlightenment.
I recently received a letter from a magician who believed that
her mood swings and other health issues were the result of her
magical workings. Here's a portion of my letter back to her. I hope
you find it encouraging.
Dear (name withheld),
Concerning mood swings and health issues vis-a-vis your
magical practices, it's usually best to ascribe them to the
normal demons of body chemistry and the stress of twentyfirst
century urban life. More often than not, a head cold
or the flu isn't caused by backlash for a magical operation.
Even if it were a negative reaction to your magical workings,
your doubts and fears over the matter only serve to
give the entities you fear permission and encouragement
to keep feeding on your insecurities (and perhaps much
more). By becoming preoccupied as to whether this pain
or that fever might be a demon messing with you, you voluntarily
give the demon power to give you this pain or that
fever-in a very real sense, the demon has evoked you!
Try to remain mindful that you'll probably live through
all your magical workings (except perhaps the last one),
and that nothing neutralizes the power of a pesky demon
more than having its scariness ignored. Remember what it
says in Liber Librae: "Humble thyself before thy Self, yet
fear neither man not spirit. Fear is failure, and the forerunner
of failure: and courage is the beginning of virtue."

小憨哥哥~我有low magick这本书的实体书⊙▽⊙~