吧友实例3：
题目：Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
作文内容
With the rapidly develop of the technology, the Internat is connected with our daily-life closely. However, an obviouslyquestion emerges out that whether the Internet really brings the bad things to us. This question has been disccussed for many years, but it have not come to an end. In my opinion, the Internet*s cons and pros are depend on each person. And as for me, I completely get in favor of the statement that the Internet truely provides people with a lot of valuable information.
First and foremost, there is no doubt that the information from the Internet greatly helps us in the everyday life. We could hardly imagine that we have to go to the library or the remote bookstore to find the book arduously. Besides, without the Internet, our life would be more hardy if we have to connect with our friends by sending letters, instead of sending emails through the Internet. Futhermore, we would waste more time in watching movies or TV series and waiting to know theclimate, which can greatly ruin our importante meeting or prepared plan, without the Internet.
Secondly, although, nowadays, many people criticize that the Internet also provide people with a bunch of unhealthy information, such as violent and pornographic, which may instincts poeple, espencially youngester, to do somethingunethnical and has bad effect influence on people* s growth, we can not say that it will creat prople, since these messagedcan be limited by the help of government, parents and school, and teach people to take advantage intead of get involved in any unhealth information.
In conclusion, based on above debatement can we know that on no account can we say that the information create problem, since we can regulate internet environment and guid people to take good use of internet, most important many information from internet are quite important for our live.
部分点评
在动词形式的使用方面（例如不规则动词、不定式、ing形式等），您处于中等水平。全文出现了一些对文章造成影响的错误。
例如In my opinion, the Internet*s cons and pros are depend on each person中的depend应分别改为depending。
从全文来看，您的总体拼写准确度偏低。通篇出现了相对较多typos，需引起关注。如since these messaged can be limited by the help of government, parents and school, and teach people to take advantage intead of get involved in any unhealth information中的intead就出现了拼写错误，应分别更正为instead。
通常在写好文章之后，都要留出一点时间去检查文章是否存在拼写问题，切记：拼写错误会在一定程度上影响整体的分数。
纵观全文，您的写作应用词汇量一般。同时，您使用复杂词汇的能力尚待提升。 建议你在词汇正确的前提下，争取选用别人想不到的表达方式。因为高分表达必须正确且与众不同。比如，很多同学喜欢用"a lot"这个词组，但这个词组毫无新意，又过于口语化，实在不是什么上乘之选。其实，书面语中用来表示“许多”的表达很多，我们可以酌情使用。比如，“许多失误”，我们可以说"a multitude of blunders"，这就比"a lot of mistakes"要好很多。另外，我们可以用"benefit us greatly/enormously/considerably"来替换平庸表达"benefit us a lot"。再者，想说"learn a lot from"的时候，可以考虑改用"draw important lessons from"等。这类例子不胜枚举。
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