After making a habit out of porn, it conquers your mind and it invades your brain. And I lost my ability to imagine.Which means I found myself and I won’t be too explicit, but trying to masturbate, just closing my eyes , trying to fantasize desperately about something human and not making it because my head was bombarded with all of those images of women being violated and subordinated and forced into pretending they enjoyed diabolic sperm rituals, okay?
It’s not just young people and we should be very careful, I think, with not only what we put into our bodies in terms of food and nutrition, but with the nutrition of our mind. Because everything we watch invades us. I’ll give you a short example from non-sexual areas. I came the other night, I came back home and my beloved one was watching some cultural junk. She was watching a karaoke show audition, the one with chairs spinning.
We download stuff. And we download all cultural junk. So I am watching this 20 minutes karaoke show. It was so boring and tedious. Two minutes talking, for minutes blabbering. I lost patience after 20 minutes and I went off to take a shower and the most interesting part was in the shower. Because what I found out there was myself in my most pathetic state ever. I’m going to share it with you. I want to feel that you accept and love me, so l have to share my most pathetic moment and you have to accept it now. I don’t know until I got over myself if it took me five, seven, ten minutes to realize that I am standing under the water in the shower pondering severely what would’ve been my song for the audition? Deep and profound, mind you. I won’t be doing this Rihanna or Lady Gaga’s. I will be doing Mercedes Sosa’s Como UnPajaroLibre. I’ll be doing a cover for Bon Dylan’s Blind Willie McTell. Ain’t that deep and profound? I had to realize that I’m an idiot because I have no talent for music. More than that, I never wanted to be neither a musician nor a singer or songwriter. This was never a part of my inner world of wishes, okay? But I’m a human being. What can I do? I was watching that for 20 minutes. It entered my brain for a while. So if we take this example and we just try to estimate the impact of 20 minutes of watching no matter what, how it invades our mind and conquers our wanting ’s and desires. ......
It’s overtaking.

when she encountered the typical customer, she would debate with him about his lifestyle, how much he wants to spend, how many children he has, what does he need the car for? They would usually come to a good conclusion what would be a perfect car.
......
Now, we rarely make really totally rational choices. Choices are influenced by our unconscious, by our community. We're often choosing by guessing, what would other people think about our choice? Also we are choosing by looking at what others are choosing. We're also guessing what is socially acceptable choice.
我们其实很少真正做出完全理性的选择。选择是由我们的潜意识影响，由我们的社会影响。我们的选择经常通过猜测，通过猜测，别人会怎样想我们的选择呢？此外，我们会通过看别人怎么选择而选择。我们也在猜什么是社会可以接受的选择。
Now, because of this, we actually even after we have already chosen, like bought a car, endlessly read reviews about cars, as if we still want to convince ourselves that we made the right choice.
正因如此，我们其实即使已经选择了，就像买了一辆车，仍然会无休止地阅读关于汽车的评论，如我们仍然要说服自己，确定我们做出了正确的选择。
Now, choices are anxiety-provoking. They are linked to risks, losses. They are highly unpredictable.
选择是会引起焦虑。它们会联系到的风险，损失。它们是高不可预测的。
We are anxious that we are not good enough. That's why we work very hard, long hours at the workplace and equally long hours on remaking ourselves. Now, when we are anxious over choices, sometimes we easily give our power of choice away. We identify with the guru who tells us what to do.
我们担心我们做得不够好。这就是为什么我们非常努力，在工作花上长时间，在重塑自己上花同样的长时间。但当我们对选择急于忧虑，有时我们很容易地放弃了我们的选择权力。我们信赖着 告诉我们该怎么做的大师。

I've always been interested in Structure, Geometry, How things fit together. How an object that performs a function can also be a work of art.

1. When we get to the guard gate, the guard comes out. He looks at me, and he looks at my parents, and he says, "You don't belong here, this is a private event." My dad says, "No, this is my daughter, Stacey. She's one of the valedictorians." But the guard doesn't look at the checklist that's in his hands. He doesn't ask my mom for the invitation that's at the bottom of her very voluminous purse. Instead, he looks over our shoulder at the bus, because in his mind, the bus is telling him a story about who should be there. And the fact that we were too poor to have our own car -- that was a story he told himself. And he may have seen something in my skin color, he may have seen something in my attire; I don't know what went through his mind. But his conclusion was to look at me again, and with a look of disdain, say, "I told you, this is a private event. You don't belong here." ......
And so they proceeded to engage this gentleman in a very robust discussion of his decision-making skills.
My father may have mentioned that he was going to spend eternity in a very fiery place if he didn't find my name on that checklist. And indeed, the man checks the checklist eventually, and he found my name, and he let us inside. But I don't remember meeting the governor of Georgia. ......
The only clear memory I have of that day was a man standing in front of the most powerful place in Georgia, looking at me and telling me I don't belong.
And so I decided, 20-some-odd years later, to be the person who got to open the gates.
2. How do I move forward? How do I get beyond the bitterness and the sadness and the lethargy and watching an inordinate amount of television as I eat ice cream?
3. I'm going to move forward, because going backwards isn't an option and standing still is not enough.
4. Am I honest about the scope of my ambition? Because it's easy to figure out that once you didn't get what you wanted, then maybe you should have set your sights a little lower, but I'm here to tell you to be aggressive about your ambition. Do not allow setbacks to set you back.
5. You will be damned if you do not try.
6. And fear is real. It is paralyzing. It is terrifying. But it can also be energizing, because once you know what you're afraid of, you can figure out how to get around it.
7. And the third is fatigue. Sometimes you just get tired of trying. You get tired of reading about processes and politics and the things that stop you from getting where you want to be. Sometimes, fatigue means that we accept position instead of power. We let someone give us a title as a consolation prize, rather than realizing we know what we want and we're going to get it, even if we're tired. That's why God created naps.
But we also learn in those moments that fatigue is an opportunity to evaluate how much we want it. Because if you are beaten down, if you have worked as hard as you can, if you have done everything you said you should, and it still doesn't work out, fatigue can sap you of your energy.

1. Some days, it feels like the only thing we can agree on is that we can't agree on anything.
Public discourse is broken. And we feel that everywhere -- panelists on TV are screaming at each other, we go online to find community and connection, and we end up leaving feeling angry and alienated. In everyday life, probably because everyone else is yelling, we are so scared to get into an argument that we're willing not to engage at all. Contempt has replaced conversation.
2. The suspicions that you hold about people who espouse beliefs that you don't have, starts to evaporate. Because you can imagine yourself stepping into those shoes. And as you're stepping into those, you're embracing the humility of uncertainty. The possibility of being wrong. And it's that exact humility that makes us better decision-makers.
3. Once you start thinking about what it would take to change your mind, you start to wonder why you were quite so sure in the first place.
4. To stop talking and to start listening. To stop dismissing and to start persuading. To stop shutting down and to start opening our minds.